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He drives a Mustang, and apparently he’s had warp drives fitted to it. Half the time he gets to where he is going before he actually left, with the speeding tickets to prove it.He hates coffee. I mean, who hates coffee? What did I do in a past life to deserve a husband who hates coffee? He drinks weird beer and turns his nose up at the Pabst Blue Ribbon or Budweiser that I drink, if beer is on the menu.He’s constantly picking wax out of his ears. He can burp the alphabet, something the kids find enormously funny. He insists on singing along with the latest teeny bopper sensation. Even the kids look at him funny when he does that, particularly when he’s doing the drop-off at school.Maisy - who is sixteen - is mortified by this. I know how to do it; you drop her off at the first available parking spot, you don’t say a word as she gets out, and the moment she is out, you take off. You are a parent, and therefore meant to be invisible. I get it. It’s how I was at that age; it’s the. "To-day?" Yes." Bless me, I quite forgot the races. Did you bet?" Oh, merely a paltry fifty louis." And who was the winner?" Nautilus. I staked on him." But there were three races, were there not?" Yes; there was the prize given by the Jockey Club--a gold cup, you know--and a very singular circumstance occurred about that race." What was it?" Oh, shut up!" again interposed some of the audience."Why, it was won by a horse and rider utterly unknown on the course." Is that possible?" True as day. The fact was, nobody had observed a horse entered by the name of Vampa, or that of a jockey styled Job, when, at the last moment, a splendid roan, mounted by a jockey about as big as your fist, presented themselves at the starting-post. They were obliged to stuff at least twenty pounds weight of shot in the small rider's pockets, to make him weight; but with all that he outstripped Ariel and Barbare, against whom he ran, by at least three whole lengths." And was it not found out at last to whom.
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